OK so last night was awesome. I facilitated with, Sr. Pastor Chuck Blair listening in and offering insight as necessary a discussion with representatives from 7 young families who were willing to talk about, "The Life of the Church". The concept for discussion was chosen carefully and yet, was also pretty nebulous, it was introduced because the focus of last night was not about getting people to come to any specific Church service, but rather to gauge whether there was interest on the part of young families to be part of a wider community, that had the teaching of Emmanuel Swedenborg at their core, and to what degree that Swedenborgian core held value.

This was not a random sampling of people so there was a relative inevitability that there was strong, strong interest from the group - and yet a pervasive feeling of feeling incredibly distant from, "The Life of the Church".

Our conversation focused on 3 aspects of of a persons relationship with the Church - Construct, Deconstruct and Reconstruct. 

CONSTRUCT STIMULUS: WHAT WAS YOUR EXPERIENCE OF THE CHURCH GROWING UP? 
Please take about 5 minutes to write down all of the words/feelings you associate with your time in the construct phase, as it relates to your experience of church. This can be both positive and negative – but please do not shy away from the painful parts.

During the Construct phase we talked mostly about buildings, camps, schools, ministers in the Church, but also began to touch on formative experiences, singing, instruction and education. This phase was regarded as very authoritarian and instructional, but also as creating a base for understanding. Mostly focused on memorization and understanding the landscape of Swedenborgian based New Church Philosophy. However there was even tension that arose in this phase, whether from overbearing instruction, or attempts to reconcile judgement, and painful memories of divorce. Additionally it became clear that there were clear delineations felt between in-groups and out-groups, particularly for those who didn't fit the perfect "New Church Model" or had come from outside.

DECONSTRUCT STIMULUS: ARE YOU CURRENTLY IN DECONSTRUCT? WAS THERE A TRIGGER?
Please take time to consider triggers that set you into a "deconstruct" or distances part of your relationship with the "Life of the Church" Also on a scale from 1-5 please indicate how close you feel to, "The Life of the Church". Finally is there a desire to participate in the life of the Church or is that gap being filled by something else?

Not surprisingly this is when the elephants came out. However at a high level, thematically I think this deconstruct phase was incredibly important aside from obvious hot-button issues. Generally the Deconstruct phase was felt most acutely in early high-school in through the college years. Timing-wise this makes a lot of sense as you are getting separation from the Construct, however, I was pretty surprised at the sense of inability to reconcile the teachings that were learned, with real life application. To me, that should probably be what the Construct phase should be all about, preparation. In any event The buzz-saw that was real-life hit many people hard as they tried to make sense of the teachings they were raised with vs. how the world held things - and the overwhelming need to overcome judgement of others. This lead to an overall de-prioritization in the Life of the Church, as physical distance from Church communities grew at college, and Church activities didn't cause for much of a draw. The ratings generally clustered around 2.5 in terms of feeling a connection to the Life of the Church, and folks, these were a handpicked group who would be ready to talk about this - I am guessing that skews HIGH. The final question was very interesting and that was, while there was a feeling of "Life of the Church" in the community, whether it be from Bryn Athyn community events, there was a desire to at least connect more deeply with that shared Swedenborgian Philosophy, particularly as it pertained to love of the neighbor, usefulness, support, and fellowship. 

RECONSTRUCT STIMULUS: WHAT CAN WE OFFER OF VALUE? While we realize based on the conversations we have had, for some of you this may be a non-starter. However, we are committed to trying to find ways to  offer pathways for everyone to reengage with the Life of the Church. Please take 5 minutes to write down some areas where a Church can offer opportunities for engagement around – and not in concept but something you would actually DO: Family | Community | Service | Work

Reality check: There is a pervasive sphere of toxicity around women's (lack of) leadership in the Church that is preventing some young families from seeking engagement with the "Life of the Church".

Reality check: There is a pervasive sphere of toxicity around judgement and treatment of non-traditional sexuality, particularly homosexuality, in the Church that is preventing some young families from seeking engagement with the "Life of the Church".

These issues are non-starters for some families and will continue to drive them away from the "Life of the Church" as for some, they cannot reconcile many of the positive teachings found within the Writings of the New Church and Swedenborgian philosophy - while at the same time bringing their children up in a culture where women are not seen as capable of reaching the highest calling of the Church, and where non-traditional sexual orientation is met with harsh judgement and for some not outright acceptance. Should a follow up survey be conducted - I think this is an area where understanding the sheer volume of numbers will be critical, to understand what is the possibility for the continued engagement of young families in "The Life of the Church".

The Good News: To a person, there was expressed interest in engaging more deeply with the fundamental core that can be offered by a Society with the teachings of Emmanuel Swedenborg as their center. Aside from the previously discussed blockers for some, what it boiled down to is time. Just as even getting the folks to my and Brittany's home last night was a challenge, getting people to make the time to engage will be a challenge. Therefore, if we wish to create space for people to engage in the life of the Church, it has to be fun, meaningful and supportive - BUT above all we have to make sure their family is taken care of first. If we don't find ways to either engage or babysit their kids, no one is showing up to any new event.

Anyway - this was an incredibly rewarding experience for me. I look forward to the service Chuck and I will work with the NCL team to put together early next year, as well as potentially to keep the conversation going with a wider survey.

All the best, Survivor Consulting Group